Learning to be vulnerable: What running can teach you
30/08/23 20:33
For many years, I had difficulty expressing my feelings due to my fear of vulnerability.
Taking the lead and solving problems was my sweet spot, but dealing with intense emotions was like facing a Tsunami with an umbrella.
It was also challenging to ask for help, even from my family. I didn’t want to seem incapable of handling my own life, so instead of allowing loved ones to help me through tough times, I chose to isolate myself and pretend that everything was under control.
Even though I began to work on these constraints years ago, I think that complementing the process with a running practice has helped me learn how to dive through physical and emotional discomfort.
Therefore, running has taught me that we can feel safe and confident while being vulnerable. Moreover, showing our vulnerability does not diminish our value in front of others but can make us more valuable by turning us into healers.
Let’s think about this for a minute.
In a competitive society, we are taught that we must push and be an active force to achieve success. Also, many of us grew up hearing that showing your emotions makes you weak. If you do, people will “take advantage of you” or not respect you enough.
Living by this logic may work temporarily, but eventually, you realize that emotional avoidance is the actual root of weakness.
Running away from your emotions won’t set you free, as they’ll become your conscience and find you under the rocks. But acknowledging how you feel and unveiling the reasons gives you authentic power:
Feeling –whether it’s love, sadness, stress, or disappointment– is a blessing. We can use any emotion as fuel for a new beginning, a second chance, or a closure.
I’m convinced that we can turn running into a mental and spiritual exercise to transform our emotions so that they serve as an impulse instead of an obstacle.
How to start? During your next run, try focusing on how you feel.
Don’t ignore the soreness and exhaustion, but run through it. Then, as your run progresses, reflect on any situation that triggers your emotional avoidance and dig into the reason:
Also, go for long runs more often. It doesn’t matter if you don’t run the whole distance, for running is also a Master of Humbling and Patience. Take it slow, walk if needed, and enjoy getting familiar with your own pace.
Once you conquer discomfort, few things in life will upset you and I truly believe that’s the reason we should run: transformation.
You might start running because you want to have a good-looking body, and that’s great, but there’s more you can achieve in the journey.
It’s a physical, mental, and spiritual renovation.
So, if self-expression and vulnerability are challenging for you, know that I have been there. I know that showing our feelings can be frightening for many reasons like being rejected, misunderstood, or judged.
Still, here’s what we must remember: opening up to others is also an opportunity for them to express their feelings, and we may be surprised at how much we can have in common.
Hence, vulnerability is healing not just for the giver but also for the receiver, and this makes it worth it.
Taking the lead and solving problems was my sweet spot, but dealing with intense emotions was like facing a Tsunami with an umbrella.
It was also challenging to ask for help, even from my family. I didn’t want to seem incapable of handling my own life, so instead of allowing loved ones to help me through tough times, I chose to isolate myself and pretend that everything was under control.
Even though I began to work on these constraints years ago, I think that complementing the process with a running practice has helped me learn how to dive through physical and emotional discomfort.
Therefore, running has taught me that we can feel safe and confident while being vulnerable. Moreover, showing our vulnerability does not diminish our value in front of others but can make us more valuable by turning us into healers.
Why are we so afraid of being vulnerable?
Let’s think about this for a minute.
In a competitive society, we are taught that we must push and be an active force to achieve success. Also, many of us grew up hearing that showing your emotions makes you weak. If you do, people will “take advantage of you” or not respect you enough.
Living by this logic may work temporarily, but eventually, you realize that emotional avoidance is the actual root of weakness.
What you deny haunts you forever. It begins like a minor ceiling leak and ends with a flooded wooden floor.
Running away from your emotions won’t set you free, as they’ll become your conscience and find you under the rocks. But acknowledging how you feel and unveiling the reasons gives you authentic power:
- When you feel a positive emotion and know why, you can bring more of what caused it into your life.
- If the emotion is negative and you know where it comes from, you can work on reducing those triggers.
Learning to be vulnerable with running
Feeling –whether it’s love, sadness, stress, or disappointment– is a blessing. We can use any emotion as fuel for a new beginning, a second chance, or a closure.
I’m convinced that we can turn running into a mental and spiritual exercise to transform our emotions so that they serve as an impulse instead of an obstacle.
How to start? During your next run, try focusing on how you feel.
Don’t ignore the soreness and exhaustion, but run through it. Then, as your run progresses, reflect on any situation that triggers your emotional avoidance and dig into the reason:
- What are you afraid of?
- Is your fear/discomfort based on a negative experience or on facts?
- What opportunities are you missing by secluding your feelings?
- What is the worst thing that could happen if you allow yourself to be vulnerable?
- Is the “worst thing” that bad?
Also, go for long runs more often. It doesn’t matter if you don’t run the whole distance, for running is also a Master of Humbling and Patience. Take it slow, walk if needed, and enjoy getting familiar with your own pace.
Vulnerability is healing
Once you conquer discomfort, few things in life will upset you and I truly believe that’s the reason we should run: transformation.
You might start running because you want to have a good-looking body, and that’s great, but there’s more you can achieve in the journey.
A part of you dies in becoming a runner: the one that didn’t believe you were capable of doing what you’re doing. Similarly, some runs will take you to your lowest so you can find the impulse to reach your highest.
It’s a physical, mental, and spiritual renovation.
So, if self-expression and vulnerability are challenging for you, know that I have been there. I know that showing our feelings can be frightening for many reasons like being rejected, misunderstood, or judged.
Still, here’s what we must remember: opening up to others is also an opportunity for them to express their feelings, and we may be surprised at how much we can have in common.
Hence, vulnerability is healing not just for the giver but also for the receiver, and this makes it worth it.
Hi, I'm Rita
Here I write about the joy of running, a practice that has given me so much and taken so little in return.
I want to share with you how we can use running as a Spiritual practice, a daily altar to strengthen our relationship with God, ourselves, and those we love.
If interested, here you can find my running gear.